beauty zealot.

corporate speak of the week

“we need a date from you.  we can’t put ‘asap’ on a calendar.”

-a co-worker

even though this isn’t funny in an ironic botched-expression sort of way, i thought it was still pretty right on.

subway oddities.

the other night on the subway, i observed the following:

1. the woman sitting right across from me had some of those really really long, curvy fake nails with exotic flowers painted on them.  and just as i was wondering how she (and all the others like her) functioned in daily life, i noticed that her right hand had long fake nails, but only half the length of those on her left.  were those nails in training or something?  two hands. one with baby claws, one full grown.  weird.

2. three guys in janitor outfits entered the car, saying something like “if you all just don’t move, you won’t get hurt.”  as i pull my ear buds out, preparing to have a panic attack, i realize that they are not threatening us, but in fact presenting a break-dancing performance.  the three begin with an interlocked leg bit, followed by individual floor breakdancing moves.  afterward, when the girl next to me offered money to one of the guys (who was holding out his hat), he said to me “ladies, we’ll take phone numbers, too.”

oh, new york.